lyrics with meaning...you'll see

She grew up on a side of the road
Where the church bells ring and strong love grows
She grew up good
She grew up slow
Like American honey

Steady as a preacher
Free as a weed
Couldn't wait to get goin'
But wasn't quite ready to leave
So innocent, pure and sweet
American honey

There's a wild, wild whisper
Blowing in the wind
Calling out my name like a long lost friend
Oh I miss those days as the years go by
Oh nothing's sweeter than summer time
And American honey

Get caught in the race
Of this crazy life
Trying to be everything can make you lose your mind
I just wanna go back in time
To American honey, yea

There's a wild, wild whisper
Blowing in the wind
Calling out my name like a long lost friend
Oh I miss those days as the years go by
Oh nothing's sweeter than summer time
And American honey

Gone for so long now
I gotta get back to her somehow
To American honey
ohhh yeahh

Ooh There's a wild, wild whisper
Blowing in the wind
Calling out my name like a long lost friend
Oh I miss those days as the years go by
Oh nothin's sweeter than summer time
And American honey
And American honey

Soon I will be researching why it is that certain songs resonate with us as human beings. It has something to do with the brain and I am waiting on a book to come in that explains it all to me. American Honey is one of my top ten songs of all time. LOVE it! Hopefully this research will uncover my love for big band and swing as well. I'll keep ya'll posted.

-your busy bee

True meaning of Christmas

Hi there,

During this season, it is easy to forget the true meaning of Christmas. Beautiful lights, delicious food in abundance, sparkly presents wrapped neatly (and not so neatly) under an ornate tree, festive music, and travel surround us all and create a palpable hum in the air. This is truly the most wonderful time of year. My thoughts are on my dad this Christmas. Although he claimed that Christmas was for kids and that he didn't need to celebrate, he always seemed to have a big grin on his face come Christmas. His gifts were always thoughtful and the red velvet cake was oh so yummy. This year is our first without him. Admittedly, it's been hard for me to get into the spirit this year.

While having a little pity party, this thought came to me. Why are you looking at the sadness that you feel when there is so much to celebrate? Think about it, God sent His one and only son to earth for all of mankind. I am glad that I am NOT God for many reasons that include the fact that I would probably lose my temper and "zap" people that get on my nerves and I would take issue with sacrificing my only son (which I really only have one son) for people that were not even grateful for him or the actual sacrifice. At any rate, rejoicing for God's son is the true reason for all of our festivities.

Oh, and lest we forget, baby Jesus was not born in a nice clinical environment. He was born in a barn (for lack of a better word), wrapped in rags - not a pamper and a cute onesie, and a feed trough was his cradle. Have any of you seen a feed trough? I have. It's not the cleanest or prettiest thing in the world. However, God Himself decided that it was good enough for His son, the king of kings. Humbling, isn't it? Not only was Jesus born in this setting, he was not the pink skinned blond baby that many manger scenes depict. Remember, Jesus was Jewish. He had olive skin and black hair.

Scripture tells us that there was nothing about his outward appearance that would attract us to him. Personally, I believe that this is true, but I believe that there was something extra special in his eyes that drew people to him. The Messiah could see to the very soul of a human being and know their inner desires, hopes, dreams, and fears. After all, He was the creator!

And, speaking of creator, isn't it fitting that a carpenter would raise God's only son as his own? God is such a creative being, it only makes sense that Jesus would create as well. This is another thought that I had last night while reflecting on the true reason for Christmas. Jesus built things with materials that He created. As a creative person myself, I can't imagine creating the materials to create with. Yet another reason I am glad that I am not God.

Jesus' occupation before he went into ministry gives us another clue to his physical appearance. I don't for a second believe that the pictures depicting Jesus on the cross as a frail, skinny, blond haired blue eyed man with a blond beard to be true in the least. Jesus was more than likely muscular from lifting the building materials. Again, he was Jewish. His skin was dark. His hair was black and his eyes were more than likely brown. I'm sure that his hands were rough and calloused yet when he touched those that he healed there was a tenderness in his hands that could only be rivaled by a mother's soft touch.

When he hung on that wooden cross, it was made from a tree that he created. Amazing thought isn't it? Jesus, the son of God, could have never created that tree in the first place. Or, he could have floated off of that cross putting Chris Angel Mind Freak to shame. Did Jesus do those things? No. He stayed there for you and me because he loved us. That is the best Christmas gift ever.

So, when you look at the Christmas tree in your home, think about some things. Jesus started his life in a feed trough made of wood. He worked with wood. He gave his life for you on a cross of wood. He was the best Christmas gift on a tree - not under a tree.

So, I hope that you reflect on what Christ did for you this Christmas. I'm certainly not someone to preach, but, this is important.

The Busy Bee

P.S. This is an inside thing for my family that reads the blog....I know Dad is filling Michele in on the "Christmas Miracle" in person this year. :-)

Playmates

The two girls sat on the bed playing dolls. A simple, tried and true game of dolls. The pure innocence on their faces was breathtaking. "Ok, I think I can hear my mommy calling me to come in for supper." said the girl on the left. "Oh, well, I guess we can play again tomorrow." responded the girl on the right.

Upon closer inspection, the girl on the left had shoulder length white hair. Her hands were gnarled and the veins stood out blue and green against white flesh. She was no longer a girl physically, for Janie was eighty four years old. In her mind, however, Janie was about five years old.

The girl on the right had waist length black hair. Her eyes sparkled at the thought of spending another afternoon playing with her friend. This girl was only four years old in body and in mind. She did not realize that there was anything "wrong" with Janie.

Each day they played dolls, sang songs, and genuinely enjoyed the company of one another.



So, this is a small tickle of an idea that I had in my mind late last night. Of course, this is a teaser and also a work in progress. ROUGH draft so be nice. ;-)

Alissa, the busy bee

Rah Rah Siss Boom Bah, Yaaaaaaaaaaaay Jesus girls

This has bothered me for a number of years now. I hope that my thoughts make sense and appear to be in an orderly fashion. As in any good story, or complaint, let's start from the beginning. Shall we?

I was born in Florida, raised in the church, and thought that my life was pretty normal. Of course I got picked on and made fun of in school pretty much like any kid. Yeah, there was the "I hate Alissa" club and boys ran from me like I had the plague. Let's just be kind and say that the awkward phase lasted quite a while for me.

At any rate, by the time my junior year in high school came around, there were boys everywhere. The awkward phase had run it's course. I didn't want much of anything to do with them (the boys that had tormented me) because if they couldn't be decent through the funky phases, why should I give them my attention now? Of course flirting was fun and I did enjoy my share of free desserts at restaurants. ;-)
In the summer, living in Florida, short shorts and tank tops with spaghetti straps were the uniform of the day. Pretty much ALL girls/women dress like that when it's hot and no one pays much attention. Exposed flesh is NORMAL in this tropical heat. Men seldom give a second glance because they are inundated with the sight.

In these teen years, I still attended church regularly. However, some things did change a little. For example, I was always cast as the "fallen woman", "the prostitute longing for Jesus", or even Mary Magdalen. What the heck? Why? It bothered me, but, it was fun to be in the church's drama program so I went along with it.

Then came the time for me to go off to college. I had chosen and been accepted into Southeasten College (now Southeastern University) in Lakeland, Florida. It was a private Christian college and my declared major was Psychology. How excited I was! I packed my belongings and moved into the dorm. The GIRLS ONLY dorm. On our first night there, a dorm meeting was held telling us the evils of boys/men. What?! Evil? No way! Boys were fun and harmless. Well, not according to these "ladies".

I use that term loosely because, well, many of them appeared to enjoy the company of women more than men. No judgment. Personal preference is up to the individual. Anyway, I disagreed with their endless and mind numbing speeches.

I decided to call these females members of the "Rah Rah Siss Boom Bah Yaaaaaay Jesus" club. There were fines for my clothing! FINES as in MONEY to be paid for wearing a tank top. What?! It's FLORIDA and especially HOT because Lakeland is in the middle of the state with no ocean breeze. I was at least used to the ocean breeze.

My argument was, no matter what a girl wears, if a guy has issues with lust, he will continue to have those issues. The rebuttal was given that "sisters in Christ should no do anything to be a stumbling block to their brothers in Christ". Well, that's all well and good but, I was not going to suffocate for these morons. So, more money came out of my pocket (hundreds of dollars by the way) and I married and moved off campus ASAP.

Obviously the marriage was a mistake, but, there was some freedom of wardrobe. Hey, a girl has to look on the bright side. ;-)
Now, fast forward about twelve/thirteen years. Those same girls, members of the "Rah Rah" club are just as prude as ever.

Oh yes, I have seen many of them around. Churches, fb, myspace, etc. Many of them are still unmarried and I can't help but wonder if a few of them have even been kissed. Do they still believe that men are the lust filled enemy? What about us as women? We have lustful desires. During those ridiculous dorm meetings NOT ONCE were our own desires brought up. Imagine that! How scandalous, a woman that enjoys sex! Well, it is fun and God Himself created it. Why not enjoy his marvelous creation?

Yes, I still wear short shorts during the summer, tank tops, bikinis, and sun dresses. I still get flirted with (although the only flirtation that counts is from my husband - the one I should have married the first time around), and I still consider myself average looking. If anyone has a problem with it, they can get over it or think of other things.

Obviously, I love Jesus. He is the reason for the happiness and joy in my life. I am thankful for all of His wonderful and undeserved gifts. That being out of the way, I don't feel it necessary to be one of those awful "Rah Rah" girls.

Once again, I hope that made sense. Talk to ya'll later.

Alissa

Woman of color

Hi there,

Over the summer, I researched my interest in make-up. It was a lot of fun and I learned a lot of cool new tips and tricks. The most interesting thing that I learned was that I am considered a "woman of color". I know, don't laugh. Me, Alissa, the busy bee, a woman of color??!!! I used to get picked on and made fun of because of my light skin. Do any of you remember calling me "Powder" or an albino? If any of my readers made fun of me, you are forgiven because it only made me stronger. Anyway, yes I am fair skinned but I do not have the pink undertones of the typical caucasian person. My undertones are brown/dark. While reading this particular book, I learned that if you scar dark (check), have dark elbows(check), dark knees (check), dark nuckles (check), dark circles under your eyes/dark eyelids (check), you are indeed considered a person of color EVEN if you have lighter skin. Interesting. So, what is the point of this little blog? You'll see, just be patient.

Here goes, and I hope that it makes sense. I believe that God created all of us and that we are indeed all beautiful in some way, shape, or form. Look around! Isn't it amazing to see all of the shades that we come in? I think it is. It's especially neat to look at the variations of colors in the skin tones of family members. For example, my grandfather (Poppy) was really dark skinned. My mother is a little lighter than her father and I am lighter than my mother. Despite these skin differences, our hands look so much alike. When he was in the hospital, we were all three holding hands and noticed the likeness. It was beautiful. It reminded me of those flesh colored crayons. They vary in pigment color and intensity. Maybe that is one reason that I love make-up so much...the colors. hmmmmm

I know what it feels like to be different than my classmates so I can only imagine the way that some children and even adults feel when there is no one around that even resembles them. Think about it, look at Barbie. She is blonde haired, blue eyed AND when I was little the only brunette Barbie was Miko or the black barbie. Miko was Asian/Polynesian and obviously the black Barbie was black. Yes, I wanted both of those dolls because they were brunette. Barbie was my favorite toy when I was a little girl. It was also hard to find black haired cabbage patch dolls or even babies that HAD hair, much less black hair like mine. -sigh-

When I married the first time, my cake topper was crystal because there weren't any cake toppers with a brunette bride unless she was Hispanic or black. That bothered me because I am not Hispanic or black. Why not have a brunette (with black hair) bride for the cake topper that is ethnically ambiguous?

Back on point, I know someone with the same dark elbows, knees, and nuckles that got caught scrubbing herself with Comet in the bath tub when she was a little girl. Why? Because all of her classmates were pink skinned, blonde haired, blue eyed "cherubs" and she felt dirty. I can remember feeling "dirty" as a little girl because I didn't look like my classmates. It's not dirt though so it can't be washed off. No child should ever feel dirty because of what they look like or be ashamed of their body/skin.

That make-up book put some things in perspective for me. Do I consider myself a woman of color? No. It was just good to read that I finally have a "category". If I had a daughter, I would teach her to feel good about herself no matter what and to look for the beauty that God has blessed her with. Instead, I have a son. I am teaching him to embrace who he is and to enjoy his freckles. He has dark hair, fair skin with dark undertones, and navy blue eyes framed with long thick black lashes. Personally I think that he will be a "lady killer" when he grows up. ;-) Does it really matter what I think though? Not one bit. It matters that he accepts himself for who he is and learns to embrace his differences.

Well, it's time that I step down from my soap box. Think about this if you will. It really makes good "food for thought". Until you read again...

-the busy bee

Sound familiar?

Hmmmmmmmmm, I know a place like this and unfortunately people that I care for are wrapped up in this crap.

THE 'ORTHODOX BIBLE-BASED CULT'

A group is called a cult because of their behaviour - not their doctrines. Doctrine is an issue in the area of Apologetics and Heresy. Most religious cults do teach what the Christian church would declare to be heresy but some do not. Some cults teach the basics of the Christian faith but have behavioural patterns that are abusive, controlling and cultic.

This occurs in both Non-Charismatic and Charismatic churches. These groups teach the central doctrines of the Christian faith and then add the extra authority of leadership or someone's particular writings. They center around the interpretations of the leadership and submissive and unquestioning acceptance of these is essential to be a member of good standing. This acceptance includes what we consider non-essential doctrines e.i. not salvation issues (such as the Person and Work of Christ.) The key is that they will be using mind control or undue influence on their members.

An excellent book on this subject is "Churches that Abuse" by Dr Ronald Enroth.

Using these guidelines of definition, Bible-based, Psychological, Educational and Commercial aberrations can easily be identified.

OTHER IDENTIFICATION MARKS

(a) The group will have an ELITIST view of itself in relation to others, and a UNIQUE CAUSE. e.i. THEY ARE THE ONLY ONES RIGHT - everyone else is wrong. THEY ARE THE ONLY ONES DOING GOD'S WILL - everyone else is in apostasy.

(b) They will promote their cause actively, and in doing so, abuse God-given personal rights and freedoms. This abuse can be THEOLOGICAL, SPIRITUAL, SOCIAL & PSYCHOLOGICAL.

HOW THEY DO THIS

1. Their leader/s may claim a special, exclusive ministry, revelation or position of authority given by God.

2. They believe they are the only true church and take a critical stance regarding the Christian church while at the same time praising and exalting their own group, leader/s and work.

3. They use intimidation or psychological manipulation to keep members loyal to their ranks. This could be in the form of threats of dire calamity sent by God if they leave; certain death at Armageddon; being shunned by their family and friends etc. This is a vital part of the mind control process.

4. Members will be expected to give substantial financial support to the group. This could be compulsory tithing (which is checked); signing over all their property on entering the group; coercive methods of instilling guilt on those who have not contributed; selling magazines, flowers or other goods for the group as part of their "ministry".

At the same time bible-based cults may ridicule churches that take up free-will offerings by passing collection plates and/or sell literature and tapes. They usually brag that they don't do this. This gives outsiders the intimation that they are not interested in money.

5. There will be great emphasis on loyalty to the group and its teachings. The lives of members will be totally absorbed into the group's activities. They will have little or no time to think for themselves because of physical and emotional exhaustion. This is also a vital part of the mind control process.

6. There will be total control over almost all aspects of the private lives of members. This control can be direct through communal living, or constant and repetitious teaching on "how to be a true Christian" or "being obedient to leadership". Members will look to their leaders for guidance in everything they do.

7. Bible-based cults may proclaim they have no clergy/laity distinction and no paid ministry class - that they are all equal.

8. Any dissent or questioning of the group's teachings is discouraged. Criticism in any form is seen as rebellion. There will be an emphasis on authority, unquestioning obedience and submission. This is vigilantly maintained.

9. Members are required to demonstrate their loyalty to the group in some way. This could be in the form of "dobbing" on fellow members (including family) under the guise of looking out for their "spiritual welfare".

They may be required to deliberately lie (heavenly deception) or give up their lives by refusing some form of medical treatment.

10. Attempts to leave or reveal embarrassing facts about the group may be met with threats. Some may have taken oaths of loyalty that involve their lives or have signed a "covenant" and feel threatened by this.

Refugees of the group are usually faced with confrontations by other members with coercion to get them to return to the group.

SOME ABUSES OF RIGHTS AND FREEDOMS:

1. ABUSE OF INDIVIDUALITY They adopt a "groupness" mentality. They are not permitted to think for themselves apart from the group and only accept what they are told.

2. ABUSE OF INTIMACY Relationships with friends, relatives, spouses, children, parents etc are broken or seriously hampered.

3. ABUSE OF FINANCES Pressure to give all you can to the group. In non-communal groups, members usually live at the lower socio-economic strata, not because of a lower income level, but because they are always giving money to the group for some reason.

4. "US VERSUS THEM" MENTALITY Isolation from the community in general. Anyone and everything outside the group is seen as "of the devil" or "unenlightened" etc. Their enemies now include former friends; the Christian church; governments; education systems; the media - the world in general. Those who are involved with these in any way see such involvement as a "means to an end".

5. ABUSE OF TIME AND ENERGY The group controls and uses almost all the members time and energy in group activities. They are usually in a constant state of mental and physical exhaustion.

6. ABUSE OF FREE WILL They must unquestioning submit to the groups teachings and directions and their own free will is broken. Their "will" actually becomes the groups "will" without their realizing it. This is done either by coercive methods including low protein diets and lack of sleep, or over a period of time through intimidation. Both methods make heavy use of "guilt".

RESULTS OF THIS ABUSE

1. PERSONALITY CHANGES

Relatives will say they no longer recognize the person.

From a warm, loving personality will come heaped abuse, rejection and feelings of hate. The cult member sees himself as "righteous" in comparison and this comes across in their attitude toward all outsiders.

2. LOSS OF IDENTITY

They cannot see themselves as individuals apart from the group. Some even change their name as a rejection of their former life.

3. PARANOID - WE ARE BEING PERSECUTED

Any time you say anything negative about the group, whether justified or no, it is regarded as "persecution". Any criticism of the individual is also seen as persecution only because they are the "true Christian" or "enlightened" one - not because they, as an individual, have done the wrong thing. However, at the same time they will feel free to criticise whatever you believe, say and do because they are "the only ones who are right".

4. SOCIAL DISORIENTATION

They lose their ability to socialize outside the group. This can go so far as to not being able to structure their time or make simple decisions for themselves when they leave.

Their world-view alters and they perceive the world through their leaders eyes. They become very naive about life in general.

5. SEVERE GUILT COMPLEXES

They are made to feel guilty of everything they did before entering the group and are to strive to be "good" and "worthy" for "eternal life". Misdemeanors are made into "mountains" so that members are in a constant state of guilt for infringing even the most minor rules. Guilt comes because they aren't doing enough; entertaining doubts or questions; even thinking rationally for oneself.

This guilt is piled upon pile with new rules constantly being laid down about what is sinful and what is not. Illness may be seen as lack of faith - more guilt. Emotional illness may be seen as proof of sin in your life - more guilt.

SUMMARY

Not all these points will be found in every cult, but all cults will have some if not most of them, although these may vary to some degree.

Copyright 1985 Jan Groenveld Freedom In Christ, PO Box 2444, Mansfield, 4122, Australia

Reproduction is permitted only if text is intact, not within the body of any other text, and is not sold for gain or profit. The above identifying information must be left intact.

Life is but a dream...

Hello there,

It's Saturday. That means grocery shopping, laundry, and some housework for the busy bee. I'd also like to go for a walk along the beach today because the weather is really nice out. How do you usually spend your Saturdays?

I'll check in a little later.

- the busy bee

Something New

Hi there!

I am still working on my little story, but, another idea came to me. This is just a little "one shot" that I wrote in about ten minutes today. Please tell me what you think.

The birth of the child was simply beautiful. During the duration of this pregnancy, Maggie often wondered exactly what this baby would look like. Would it be born with the fair skin and light hair of it's older sibling, or would copper skin and black hair prevail? Anxiety plagued Maggie's mind but in her heart she knew that no matter what, this baby was loved.

When the midwife presented the squalling infant to it's mother, a small frown wrinkled her brow. The baby had a thick mass of long, blue black hair and his skin was already a deep tan. Certainly, Clarence could not have fathered this child. Far be it from this woman to interfere in the marriage of Clarence and Maggie Kendall. Her work was completed; Mother and baby were safe and healthy.

Maggie examined her new son with awe. "Hello, little one", she cooed. "You've sure made your mama nervous waiting for you. Happy Birthday." So, she and Kanawha had created a son. He would be overjoyed at the news. Maggie's heart leaped with joy but it was short lived. Clarence would be coming in soon and with his temper, things would not go well. As it was, Maggie needed to protect her baby boy from the wrath of her husband.


*No, I do not condone adultery. As the story unfolds, you will discover the why of this infidelity.


Hope you enjoyed the small glimpse into my imagination!

- the busy bee

Thankful

Hello,

In this topsy turvy economy, I am so very thankful for the blessings in my life. I have a loving husband, a wonderful son, and many other "things" that I do not deserve. We have a home, plush beds, food to eat, and love to share. Many people in our own nation do not have those things and it tugs at my heart. God has truly blessed me and for that I am grateful. Please reach out to those in need not only at this Thanksgiving season, but all year long. Take care of our own before we go and take care of those in other nations. It is all about priorities.

I believe that in reaching out to others and meeting their needs, we are the actual hands of Christ here on earth. It doesn't have to be anything elaborate. Seriously. Meeting a need can be as simple as making an extra plate or two for your single neighbor. Think about it, do we really need to have leftovers? How about paying for the person behind you in the drive through or at the toll booth? Maybe I'm being idealistic, but it is so intrinsically rewarding to go beyond ourselves and give to others. Try it. You just might like it!

Thanking God for the blessings in my life,
- the busy bee

Ahhhhhhhhhh

Have you ever fed a lover
With just your hands
Close your eyes
And trusted, just trusted
Have you ever thrown
A fist full of glitter in the air
Have you ever looked fear in the face
And said I just dont care

Its only half past the point of no return
The tip of the iceberg
The sun before the burn
The thunder before the lightning
And the breath before the phrase
Have you ever felt this way...

Have you ever hated yourself
For staring at the phone
Your whole life waiting on the ring
To prove youre not alone
Have you ever been touched so gently
You had to cry
Have you ever invited a stranger
To come inside

Its only half past the point of oblivion
The hourglass on the table
The walk before the run
The breath before the kiss
And the fear before the phrase
Have you ever felt this way...

la la la la la la la la

There you are, sitting in the garden
Clutching my coffee, callin me sugar
You called me sugar

Have you ever wished for an endless night
Lassoed the moon and the stars
And pulled that rope tight
Have you ever held your breath
And asked yourself
Will it ever get better
Than tonight, tonight.......


Hello!

Love, love, love, love this song. It reminds me of falling in love for the first time. Real love. I can remember wishing for an endless night with my honey. We had been apart for nine years. Over that time I had thought of him, wondered what he was doing, and even dreamed of him. Would I admit it? No way! I thought that it would be a sin (I was married to someone else).

Back to the first night that I wished would never end. Well, he came to visit me and we had dinner together. I can remember the butterflies in my stomach! Wow, was I nervous. I can remember Robby commenting on how fast my heart was beating and I remember feeling my fact turn beet red because I didn't want to acknowledge it was because of him. What was wrong with me? hehehehehe After dinner, we watched a movie (The Notebook) and then slow danced. How romantic! It was like a missing piece of my heart was found as he held me in his arms. Then, I leaned up and kissed him. Yes, I made the first move to kiss him and it was amazing. Fireworks! If only that night would never end! It was about five or so in the morning when I tore myself away and went home. Just a few hours after we had breakfast and spent every minute of that Saturday together. Ahhhhhhh, memories.

That has been four years ago now AND there have been many more nights that I wished would never end. Real love doesn't have to get dull and boring. There are ups and downs, twists and turns, and lulls in the passion. BUT the best part is when that passion surges and you find yourself beside of your one true love after the roller coaster, you are more in love than ever before. Who would have ever thought that I, Alissa, am a hopeless romantic? Certainly not those talking to me during the black period of my first marriage. I hated the idea of marriage and romance because, well, I was mixed up in something that was totally and completely wrong. I wanted to prove to myself and to the world around me that I was grown and could make my own decisions. How laughable that is now! I threw away happiness with both hands and thank God in heaven my actions had a boomerang effect and happiness came back to me.

Floating on air,
- the busy bee

Backward glances

Today a most unwelcome surprise arrived in the mail. For the better part of this last year, my ex-husband has had no contact with my son. Then, out of the blue, came a card for David. It was a Halloween card. The cynical part of me snorted and thought, "Of course he would send a card for that day. It's his high holy day." Then, I began to reflect on some of the less than stellar choices that I have made throughout my life. I do not regret my son at all. He was the only bright spot in that miserable existence of a so called marriage. Does it really do any good to take a backward glance though? All we can do is move forward.

Looking back only causes sadness. There are too many loved ones not with me anymore and when I look back they figure prominently in my life. There is also a long list of "what ifs" and "should haves". Does it do anyone any good to think of those things? Maybe, only if upon reflection we glean wisdom from our mistakes and dare not repeat them. After all, isn't the definition of "crazy" doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result?

It's not easy coming to terms with all of my past mistakes, but, I am trying. After all, I wouldn't be who I am today without the bad choices of yesterday.

- the busy bee

Sudafed is not my friend

Hello!

Sudafed is not my friend. At all. Not one little bit. It may make sinuses feel better but it is not good for the emotional state. Yesterday afternoon was really bad because of it and today seems to not be any better. Why does it have to make everything seem so serious and drastic? I just want to be left alone to run away to a deserted island and never return. No, normally I do not feel this way so don't worry. Once it runs it's course everything is back to normal and life is good again. In the meantime....

- the busy bee

Possible T.M.I

Hi again!

Here's the thing, I like to sleep sprawled out on the bed. I am a cover/blaket hog and on more than one occasion I have even taken over his pillow. My husband gets a little frustrated with me about it but he keeps me around despite my bad bed manners. I also thrash around in the night as my dreams are normally very active. So, a king sized bed is our friend. :-) Tonight, my dear husband told me that he is thinking of buying sand paper to sand down my bony knees. hehehehehe He says that he gets poked in the night by my "sharp" knees and that at least when my butt pokes him it's "cushy". Hardy har har, Mr. Brown. You are such a comedian!

The way I see it, the daytime hours are never boring in our house so why should it be any different in the night? My husband needs to be kept on his toes! Speaking of toes, mine are cold right now. Maybe I should put them on Robby so they can warm up. ;-)

Good night, ya'll!
- the busy bee

Part 6

Here is part 6 (mostly finished). Please keep in mind that this is a rough draft and that I will "flesh out" the story once it is completed. It's good to get the thoughts down first and then go back and fix things. Enjoy and let me know what ya'll think.



Walking to the market, I thought about how incredibly blessed I was to live in this small town. The last five years had certainly gone by with ease and comfort. No one really inquired too much about my past and that was a relief. My past was a rabid dog and I would much rather leave that dog alone.

Life here was bliss, really. There were four distinct seasons, my friends were supportive and fun, my home was charming, and I had a job that I loved. Yes, this was pretty much the polar opposite of what my life had been in Florida.

I married at such an early age. He had said that he loved me beyond reason and I believed him. Juan was devilishly handsome and he had such a way with words. We met in Ybor City and I had been taken by his exotic looks and the way that he was different than anyone I had ever met.

After a whirlwind courtship in which Juan showed that he could be moody, we married. Looking back, those moods only foreshadowed the horrors that my marriage would hold. On our wedding night I realized what a huge mistake that I had made. Like most girls, I imagined my honeymoon to be filled with romance. Instead of gentle caresses, I received harsh words of criticism if my hair was the slightest bit out of place. Instead of a doting new husband, I was left to my own devices while he leered at and flirted with other women. Divorce was frowned upon and beside the fact, my pride prevented me from admitting defeat.

Juan knew all of this and he seemed to derive some sort of sadistic pleasure from watching me become miserable. Over the next few years, Juan became more and more physical with his malice. In the beginning of our marriage, Juan used words to wound me and occasionally fists. Now, he was striking me on a regular basis. Oh, yes, he always made sure to do so on my back or upper arm where my clothing would hide the purple bruises. There were a few times that he lost control and actually punched my face. Amazingly enough, those punches did not leave any marks although they hurt like the dickens.

I finally began to fight back. Two could and would play that game. The first time I struck Juan he was more than surprised. It seemed to calm him and he walked away from me with a frown creasing his brow. The next bought of physical violence brought about Juan picking me up over his shoulder and repeatedly thrusting my head into our headboard. I bit his hand hard enough to draw blood and he released me onto the bed. As I sat there, gulping for breath, Juan slapped me across the face and demanded that I go make dinner.

We continued along this destructive path for five years. It is a miracle from God Himself that I was not killed. I always knew that I was strong, but, being married to Juan showed me just where exactly my strength came from.

Oh! The other women, and men, I should add only added to the insults. One afternoon, I was walking down 7th Avenue and Juan and one of his “friends”, Maria, were walking arm and arm happy as could be. There were rumors, always rumors. Juan vehemently denied there being any validity to them, but in my heart I knew that they were true. How else could a supposed husband treat his wife with such malice and utter hatred?

That night Juan drew the final straw. I made spaghetti for our dinner and had it waiting on the table for him. When he walked in the door, Juan ignored the hot dinner and instead went to a different room to read the newspaper. I sat and ate my dinner in peace and waited. The minutes turned into hours and Juan still did not come for his dinner. My anger was bubbling over so I decided to do something about the situation instead of just sitting patiently waiting for my dose of punishment.

Calmly, I warmed the plate in the oven. With a soft smile on my face I went to the study where Juan was now reading a book. A little voice in my head said, “Flip the plate! Flip the plate! Flip the plate!” and I DID. I flipped the plate of hot spaghetti on Juan and he yelped in pain. Victory was mine although it was short lived. I meant to leap out of the way and run out of the house. Instead, Juan grabbed my wrist and jerked me to him. It hurt but the triumph of watching Juan dance around in pain more than numbed my wrist. He shoved me backward and I fell into a doorknob. It hit the back of my head and I blacked out. That would be the last time Juan would ever put his hands on me.

The priest found multiple grounds for our annulment and I moved to start a new life.

Chill out, won't you?!

It has been a rainy day here in the busy bee's neighborhood. A cold front is coming through! YAY! While summer has to be my favorite season, fall is a close second. It's about time to drag out the jeans, long sleeved shirts, and hoodies. While the rain is dreary, it is bringing something good.

Isn't that how life is sometimes? Dreary or difficult times followed by a pleasant outcome? It's not always sunshine and roses. No one ever said that life was perfect. Far from it, in fact! I try to make the best of it although I am not always successful. That's why it's important to get up, brush the dirt off, and go on.

I'll be seeing you,
- the busy bee

The Big Rock Candy Mountaina

Hello all,

This time of year I always miss my Poppy. November 29 he will be gone for nineteen years. It's hard to believe that it's been that long, but in the same sense it feels like it's been a lifetime ago. He loved to sing and Poppy had a beautiful bass voice. Many of my favorite childhood memories are of him singing to me. One of the songs was "The Big Rock Candy Mountains". It's a catchy little tune and super cute. Here are the lyrics.



One evening as the sun went down
And the jungle fires were burning,
Down the track came a hobo hiking,
And he said, "Boys, I'm not turning
I'm headed for a land that's far away
Besides the crystal fountains
So come with me, we'll go and see
The Big Rock Candy Mountains

In the Big Rock Candy Mountains,
There's a land that's fair and bright,
Where the handouts grow on bushes
And you sleep out every night.
Where the boxcars all are empty
And the sun shines every day
And the birds and the bees
And the cigarette trees
The lemonade springs
Where the bluebird sings
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains.

In the Big Rock Candy Mountains
All the cops have wooden legs
And the bulldogs all have rubber teeth
And the hens lay soft-boiled eggs
The farmers' trees are full of fruit
And the barns are full of hay
Oh I'm bound to go
Where there ain't no snow
Where the rain don't fall
The winds don't blow
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains.

In the Big Rock Candy Mountains
You never change your socks
And the little streams of alcohol
Come trickling down the rocks
The brakemen have to tip their hats
And the railway bulls are blind
There's a lake of stew
And of whiskey too
You can paddle all around it
In a big canoe
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains

In the Big Rock Candy Mountains,
The jails are made of tin.
And you can walk right out again,
As soon as you are in.
There ain't no short-handled shovels,
No axes, saws nor picks,
I'm bound to stay
Where you sleep all day,
Where they hung the jerk
That invented work
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains.
....
I'll see you all this coming fall
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains

In the weeks to come, I will write more about Poppy. Like I said, this time of year I think of him more than usual.

Love,
your busy bee

At last....

Hi there!

This is a teaser for part 6! Thanks for reading. ;-)





Walking to the market, I thought about how incredibly blessed I was to live in this small town. The last five years had certainly gone by with ease and comfort. No one really inquired too much about my past and that was a relief. My past was a rabid dog and I would much rather leave that dog alone.

Life here was bliss, really. There were four distinct seasons, my friends were supportive and fun, my home was charming, and I had a job that I loved. Yes, this was pretty much the polar opposite of what my life had been in Florida.





- the busy bee

Part 5! Part 5! Part 5!

Hello all! Here is part five of my little story. A few disclaimers... 1) My real name is Alissa and my real husband's name is Robby Brown. 2) Clyde Cobb was a real man, married to a real woman named Garnett. She had several younger sisters. He really did sing in a group called the Silvertones. 3) Cheryl and Mike are real people and they are really married.

Sorry for the overuse of the words "real" and "really". Some names will be changed in the final product. Of course, that is to product the innocent. ;-) Happy reading and please, please, please, please, tell me what ya'll think. Remember, this is a very rough draft. Really rough draft. hehehehehe Get it? "Really" rough draft. Ah, I crack myself up sometimes.








The birds chirping happily woke me and before I could fully open my eyes I knew that the day was spectacular. It was Saturday and I was able to sleep in a little. Were the events of last night real? Had Robby really stopped by for a short visit on his way back home to Florida? Looking over to my left, I saw the letter lying open on my nightstand and I knew that it was indeed real.

Saturday was usually a day filled with going to the market, laundry, and housework. It was also a day that my best friend, Cheryl and I had breakfast together and caught up on all of the past week’s gossip. She would go over the moon for this late breaking news. We always took turns hosting our regular breakfast date and this was my turn. How could I have forgotten? Robby. That’s exactly how!

With an exaggerated sigh, I quickly dressed and rummaged through the kitchen for the makings of our meal. We had biscuits, pear preserves, scrambled eggs, and I was able to use some leftover ham from the icebox to complete our little feast. Just as I was clearing the last few blue willow china pattern dishes from the table, Cheryl asked me about what I knew she had been bursting at the seems to know.

“So, did he come by to tell you goodbye?” she smiled.

“I don’t know who you mean, Cheryl.” I smiled back, beginning to run the water in the sink to wash the dishes.

“Yes, you do. You can’t pretend that you have no idea who I am talking about, especially after this last week. Why, if I didn’t know any better, I’d guess that you had forgotten all about our breakfast this morning because you were up late last night with him.” Her lips curled up triumphantly.

“What?! How could you know abou…No! I would never forget breakfast.” Caught. I had been caught. There was no use trying to lie my way out of it. I was a terrible liar anyway.

“Let’s just call it a girl’s intuition. Plus, Mike knows things and we are married. He does talk to me.” Cheryl winked in my direction and helped dry the dishes before putting them back in their place.

After Cheryl’s gentle interrogation she seemed satisfied with herself and the information extracted. Well, it wasn’t an interrogation, but it certainly had felt like one. Cheryl had meant no harm and it felt good to talk to someone about things. Her advice had been to “write to Robby and see what happens”. Easier said than done.

Oh, correspondence was simple enough. It was the waiting. Waiting was not something that I was particularly good at in life. Humming one of the songs the Silvertones had sung last night, I gathered the empty flour sacks and started out toward the market.

The most refined ladybugs do it, when a gentleman calls

Let's do it! Let's fall in love!

What a cute and witty song. Cole Porter was wonderfully talented. The movie about his life, DeLovely, is one of my favorites. No big surprise there, right? After all, it IS set in the time period that I adore AND it has Ashley Judd in it. Yep. I freely admit it. I think that Ashley Judd is gorgeous.

When I watched DeLovely, I was married to my ex-husband and cried pretty much through the whole movie. Of course he laughed and made fun of my emotional state. I won't go into my thoughts of him. Let's just say that they were and are less than civil. ;-)

Well, that's what is going on in the busy bee's mind right now. Talk to ya'll later!

Much love,
- the busy bee

Thinkin' about you

Hello!

My throat has been on fire for two days now. Not fun. That doesn't mean that I haven't been thinking about you, my loyal readers, though. ;-) It may be a grand delusion, but, it is nice to know that there are people "out there" that enjoy reading what I have to say. The stories in my head have been developing nicely, which means that they will be put on a Word document which means that they will find their way to you. That just sounded too cute in my head not to "pen" on this blog. In case any of you are wondering, no, I am not taking anything for the throat pain nor am I hopped up on anything. This is just a goofy side of me.

Also, I am feeling a bit like Sally at the end of "The Great Pumpkin". Trick or treating did not happen tonight because of this tonsilitis or strep throat or whatever it is. Instead, I promised David three bags of the candy of his choice when I am feeling up to driving him to the store. So, no mummy and no Cleopatra. :-( I did practice the make up though and it looked awesome (although a friend of mine said I looked like I had been in a fight).

On to more pleasant thoughts...
1) I have been filling up my mac-daddy ipod (no pun intended) with even more awesome music and I have been doing it for F-R-E-E. Free does not mean illegal either. If you want to know my trick, email me and I will tell you. It has already saved me (and my honey) a little over a thousand dollars. Seriously, it is legal so don't worry.
2) I have also been reading some "fanfiction" lately. My husband and I like the show Criminal Minds and over the summer I dreamed some pretty awesome episodes. One of my best friends used to write fanfiction in jr. high/high school and the dreams made me think of her. So, I looked up some various fanfictions and found that many of the writers are more talented than those that actually do the professional writing for various television shows. Have any of you read fanfiction or do any of you enjoy dabbling in it? I've given it a little thought and it may be something that I delve into.
3) It's always fun to get inspiration from favorite songs. I'm just sayin'. So, if you notice that I sample from song lyrics, it's only because I love them so much.

Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers, <--------- case in point!
- the ever thinking busy bee

To make you feel my love

One of my favorite songs of all time is "To Make You Feel My Love". It's lovely, thoughtful, slow, plaintive, introspective, and heartfelt. Totally random thought, but, it was just on my itunes so I thought that I'd give it a "shout out".

I've also been working on my story. Many of you are wanting to know "WHAT HAPPENS NEXT, WOMAN?" It is coming, trust me. ;-) Seriously, could any of my stories be published? I'm asking with an honest and sincere heart. Feedback is greatly appreciated.

Have a great evening, ya'll.

- the busy bee

Retro hair accomplished

This isn't earth shattering news or anything, but, I have accomplished retro hair. Yes, I did it without having to get the haircut. Through some research on the internet, I found that the layers I already have would work just fine. The only thing that I needed to do was roll my hair on some curlers. Well being the el cheapo that I am, I found a set of hot rollers at a thrift store for four dollars and snatched them up. Don't judge me! I thoroughly cleaned and disinfected the rollers and proceeded to use them. All I can say is WOWEE WOW WOW! I love it!

Now in search of some swing dance classes,

-your busy bee

What next?

Here is what happens next. It's part four if you are counting. ;-)



With Robby walking off in the direction of the train depot, I slowly opened the card in my hands. Folded neatly inside of the card were two pages of the same ecru colored linen paper that made up the envelope. The moonlight was not sufficient enough to read the letter. I ventured inside and prepared myself for whatever Robby Brown felt that he needed to say.

My Dearest Alissa,

I would like to thank you for one of the best weeks of my life. When my business brought me to this particular town, I would impatiently count the days until I returned home. In the past, your little town held no charms for me and I found it quite boring. Now, smooth your ruffled feathers and allow me to continue before you decide to toss this into a fire.

However, in my past visits, I had not met you. Our first meeting at the Magnolia was quite by chance. Your laughter caught my ear and I couldn’t help but to seek out the source of the infectious melody. What luck when I found it was you!

You were sitting at a table with Clyde Cobb, Garnett Samples, and one of her little sisters. Obviously something was causing you to giggle louder than anyone else in the group so I decided to introduce myself. Well, the rest as they say, is history.

Your company truly made this trip one of the most pleasant and unfortunately fast business ventures that I have ever experienced. I found myself actually dreading this day. How could I tell you goodbye? Please forgive me in not actually telling you in person.

This is where I can be reached should you decide to correspond with me. My mail is forwarded from this address, so, rest assured it will find me.
Robby Brown
c/o Carolyn Brown
16 Ponce deLeon Ave.
Saint Augustine, Florida 32084
I hope that you think of our week together with fondness or perhaps something a little more.

Sincerely yours. Forever always and never sometimes,
Robby

With that, I folded the note and placed it back into the envelope. This friendship was going to be very interesting to say the least. Who was Carolyn Brown? Did Robby have a wife? He didn’t wear a wedding band and there had been no tan line where one had previously been.

Sleep now beckoned and I answered the call. Knowing that sleeping in would be an option, I didn’t even bother to look at the clock beside my bed. The time didn’t matter.

Explanation

What the what? You may be asking yourself what the heck I am writing about. Well, as most of you know, my husband is a shrink. No comments from the peanut gallery please! hehehehehe I will admit that being married to a shrink comes in handy sometimes and at other times it is rather unnerving. One of the relaxation techniques that he uses is creating a world all of your own. For example, our son's world consists of bright colors, lots of clouds, candy and food everywhere, animals, and a giant rain forest. Pretty awesome for a seven year old, don't you agree? My world takes place in the 1940's. WWII hasn't happened yet (and it may not in my world). My world is in the South, most likely near Newnan/Grifffin, Georgia. The homes are beautiful, the manners are beautiful, and life is simple. Well, the other night while relaxing in an attempt to sleep, I went to "Alissa's World" and envisioned the scene that I am writing about. It does wonders for the creativity. ;-) Anyway, here is part two and three. Enjoy and comment, please.





It was time to get out of the tub and finish my glass of ice water. I quickly dressed in a cream-colored slip and red silk robe. Securing the robe around my waist, I decided to sit on the front porch for a little while.

The neighborhood was exceptionally quiet. Apparently I was the only one struggling with sleep. Normally when I sat on my porch I could hear the faint sounds emitting from a neighbor’s radio, or the irregular laughter of children playing in a nearby backyard. This time, the only noise was the rhythmic creak of the rocking chair as I rocked slowly enjoying the fragrance that was uniquely autumn.

I always enjoy the smell of autumn. While summer is my favorite season, it is intoxicating to wake early and feel the excitement in nature as it awaits the upcoming cool down. The men and boys make their preparations to hunt and the women begin to gather heavier quilts and clothing from the attic. Yes, this season has charms of it’s own I admit to myself.

Lost in thought, I failed to notice the footsteps quickly approaching. It was too late to retreat indoors. Maybe if I sat perfectly still in the shadow that my camellia bush cast, I would not be seen. Who could be out at this time? Certainly they were not up to anything good or decent. A mixture of fear and curiosity coursed through my body as I strained to see just who this was walking along the sidewalk.

My heart was beating loudly in my own ears and I recognized the shadowy figure as Robby Brown. What was he doing? Was he carrying something in his hand? Why was his pace slowing as he approached my home? Had he noticed me sitting there? If I retreated now, he would surely know that I had been spying.

I sighed and sat as still as possible as he deftly opened the gate leading to my walkway. He was carrying flowers and what appeared to be a card of some sort. I couldn’t help but to grin. They were my very favorite flower. How did Robby know? I couldn’t recall ever mentioning my favorite flower in any of our conversations over the last week. He was very observant, so, maybe it was all just a marvelous coincidence.

Robby did not even notice me sitting in the silence as he climbed the five stairs leading to my porch. Who was I kidding? Of course he noticed. The man was aware of everything. This was both infuriating and fascinating - I hadn’t made my mind up as to which emotion was stronger. Infuriating because no matter what I wore, he had to make a comment. “Well, aren’t we looking lovely today”, or “My, my, you are breathtaking in that shade of yellow”. How could a man, with no presumed female attachment, take notice of every single detail about me? This was the fascinating part. Where had Robby learned such things? Did he have a sister back home in Florida? A sweetheart? At the thought of Robby having a sweetheart, my heart sank just a little and I noticed my hands become clammy and moist. Slowly, I rubbed my palms over the skirt of my robe.

“Hello there, my precious. What luck to find you up at this late hour”, he smiled with an easy grin. “I was just stopping by on my way to the train station to leave you with a parting gift as a token of my appreciation for the company that you provided over the last week. Although I thought that a surprise on your doorstep would be exciting, I trust that you will accept my gift now. It would be nice to travel to Florida with your reaction etched firmly in my memory”.

“Well, the flowers are gorgeous. How did you know? I mean, I don’t think that I ever told you that sunflowers were my favorite. They aren’t even growing in my yard”.

Robby chuckled as he seated himself in the rocking chair beside mine. “I think I know you better than you know yourself”. This revelation made his hazel eyes sparkle with something that I had never seen before and the hairs on the back of my neck stood at attention.

“Know me better than I know myself? Please! I have lived in this body for the last ummm, well, forever, so I know myself better than you ever could”. That was close. A lady never tells her age and I had come ever so close to crossing that fine line between lady and something a little less than.

“Here is something else for you. I hope that you will take time to read it before tossing it carelessly in the trash heap”. Robby tentatively handed me the thick envelope with my name written on it in his bold, slashing hand.

“Of course! May I open it now”? I had never been good at waiting for presents at Christmas, birthdays, or at any time really. My hands were itching to rip into the linen envelope and read exactly what Robby Brown had to say before he left. After all, who knew when we would see one another again? Our first meeting had been by seemingly a random chance.

As I held the envelope in my hands, I found my excitement waning. Why couldn’t I rip into this piece of paper as I had done to countless, more elaborately wrapped gifts over the years?

Now, after a full week of daily interaction and interesting conversation he would be gone. As this realization sank in, I concluded that the real cause of my insomnia had absolutely nothing to do with the outside temperature or the condition of my pillow. It had everything to do with Robby’s departure and the uncertainty that we would ever see one another again.

“Penny for your thoughts”. Robby gently broke the awkward silence beginning to fill the void of our once easy conversation.

“Oh, nothing much. I guess I am just getting tired. It was a long day and an even longer night. Wouldn’t you agree? Thank you for the dancing and drinks this evening. Your stories, as always, took my mind on an adventure unlike any I could dare dream of going”, I smiled my very best smile at him.

“Liar. I told you that I could read faces and yours is telling me something totally different than that convoluted story you just made up. Now, how about the truth? Remember one of our very first conversations? You were attempting to be the sweet Southern lady and I saw right through that charade. Everything in your being wanted to question me about my family, my business, and exactly what it was that I was doing in your precious little town.” I felt more uneasy than I ever had around him but I didn’t want to let it show. Of course I remembered the things that Robby had mentioned. I was not a simpleton.

“Think about the truth. When you are ready to tell me, I have given you an address at which I can be reached. Write to me and show me that you are ready to be truthful with me at all times.”, His voiced trailed off as he reached across the small space separating us on the porch and held my hand firmly in his.

I wanted my hand to be free. I wanted to run inside, lock the door, and forget that Robby Brown ever existed. Fortunately, that didn’t happen and fortunately we can’t always get what we want. He kissed the back of my hand, checked his watch in the moonlight, and told me that he had to be on his way if he was going to make the train in time.

With that, Robby left as swiftly and as quietly as he had come.

Have a Coke and a smile!

Greetings!

I just wanted to announce a happy surprise. The Home Depot near my house sells Coca-Cola in the bottle. Yep, a real honest to goodness glass bottle...and it was in the cooler so it was frosty cold. Home Depot trips are normally hopelessly boring, but, finding Coke in a bottle made it happy. Ah yes, the simple things that amuse me.

Last night I had a wonderful time with my good friend, Cheryl. The original plan was to go to Party City and look at Cleopatra wigs, but, we altered course and had a blast just being spontaneous. Why a Cleopatra wig? Well, I am so glad that you asked! My son wants to be a mummy this year and I will be Cleopatra dutifully escorting him from home to home as we trick-or-treat. If I can't find the correct wig, I can just straighten my hair and pin my bangs under to give it that "walk like an Egyptian" look. ;-) The make up should be simple enough as well and fun to do.

I will go for now and post the other two sections of my story after a brief explanation of exactly what it is that I am doing. When I posted yesterday, it was an experiment. Oh well. Hope that the reading was enjoyable and I do like your feedback/comments. Thank you!

Much love!

-the busy bee

Work in progress

The evening was unseasonably warm. By this point in October one usually needed a light quilt to sleep under while the windows remained opened. However on this evening, with the full moon brightly shining, no coverlet much less a quilt of any kind was needed.

It was well past midnight and I searched for that particular spot on my pillow. That one particular spot that is cool and comforting, ushering in peaceful slumber. My search was in vain; perhaps another bath would aid in my body reaching the point of not caring about the temperature of the pillow.

With purpose in my steps, I walked to the bathroom and turned the shiny knobs. A cool bath would be best, so, I did not bother to move the one marked “H” much at all. While the cast iron tub was filling, I decided to pour myself a glass of ice water. “Refreshment second only to Coca-Cola”, I thought to myself.

The tub was now ready and so was I. Lowering myself into the cool water, I took a deep breath as small goose bumps suddenly appeared on my arms. Maybe I hadn’t noticed the change in temperature but my body sure had taken notice. “It’s just like swimming in the creek. It’s just like swimming in the creek”, I repeated to myself getting used to the bath.

What a night it had been! The dancing was particularly lively down at the Magnolia and the entertainment even more so. Clyde Cobb and his group sang and everyone demanded an encore. The boys were gracious and obliged the club with three more songs. I had spent the evening with Robby Brown.

Robby was visiting from Florida. The stories he told were breathtaking. Alligators! Why would anyone decide to jump on the back of an alligator and hang on for dear life just to wrestle the animal into submission? When I asked him that very same question he smiled and whispered in my ear, “It’s practice for wrestling a woman into submission.” I knew that I had blushed. Hopefully Robby thought that it was because of the wine that I was drinking and not from what he had just whispered. At any rate, Robby Brown was a handsome man. To be honest, he was everything that I had hoped to find but none of the men around me ever quite fit the bill. All of my life my friends and family commented on how “picky” I am about the men that I date. Why should I lower my standards? Why should I accept just anyone’s offer of dinner, dancing, or a movie?

With those thoughts spiraling round and round in my head, I slid under the water.

Autobiography or work of fiction?

My, my it's been a while! Right at eight months since I have posted anything. So much has happened and changed in that small span of time. If you know the details, then you understand. About a month or two ago I saw a most interesting quote. It was, "A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's is her work of fiction." - Oscar Wilde. How to interpret this? Literally? Metaphorically?

As I pondered the statement I thought about how women use cosmetics to conceal any flaw, perceived or real. Men tend to be more "wash and wear" although I have met some men that use cosmetics. That being said, it would appear that a literal interpretation would be a little more difficult although somewhat obvious.

Often times women portray a "skin deep" beauty that quickly fades as the water disappears down the sink. I think that most of us have seen the magazine covers that "reveal" celebrities without make up. In many cases, most of us would not recognize the famous person. Is their beauty all just a grand work of fiction? Digital enhancements abound, and most everyday women feel less than pretty when looking in the mirror. Simply put, it's sad. I haven't even started on the cosmetic surgery aspect of it all and, honestly, I don't want to.

Now, what about the fact that for many years women were taught to hide their emotions and thoughts behind a demure smile and a mask of pure serenity? Would that not constitute a work of fiction as well? "Smile and look pretty" no matter what was going on in the heart or head, right? I am thankful to be a woman and I am thankful that I am able to let my emotions show on my face. Honestly I believe that even if my face were to be the picture of a peaceful lady, my eyes would betray any thoughts or feelings to the contrary. It was generally more accepted for a man to reveal the inner workings of his mind through facial expressions. I've always wondered exactly why that was. Who exactly made up that rule of society?

Although it is 2010, do any of us still live according to Mr. Wilde's theory? Certainly I am not discouraging cosmetics in any way, shape, or fashion. I LOVE make up. It's fun! I love to enhance what is already there, on myself and others. I do not believe that anyone should hide behind a mask of make up OR behind a mask that disallows the mind and heart to shine through.

So, those are some of my thoughts regarding a most interesting and observant statement. What do you think?

Fluttering around the house during this beautiful Autumn evening,

The busy bee

One direction, then another.....

While I do not like the candy peeps, I love this shirt. I think it is absolutely adorable! "Hangin' with my peeps" is something that we do best in the busy bee's family. There are times when the busyness of the world seems to get out of hand and it is nice to just sit back and breathe. My husband has been working for the last (almost) four years to teach me how to "just be". I will tell you that it is not easy for this type A personality. Every now and then I want to pull my hair out, but, all in all it has been a great learning experience for me.

Today my co-teacher and I were talking about life and she brought up the fact that while it would be great to be able to skip the bad times, we would miss the learning experiences that those bad times bring. With bad always comes good. Keep that in mind, especially if you are going through a rough time right now. It is always worthwhile to sit back and relax. Life zooms by. Before you know it, you are one year older and you wonder where the previous year went. Kids grow up really fast. You know something? I really did not believe that last statement until I became a mother. Now, my "baby" is almost seven years old! Where has the time gone? It seems like just yesterday I was making bottles, changing diapers, and lugging around a diaper bag. Of course I miss the baby stage, but this curious little boy stage is awesome as well. Would I go through the rough times of teething and diaper "blow outs" again? Absolutely, one thousand times, yes. My son had to go through those not so fun times to grow and mature into the little boy that he is today. I had to go through those times right along beside of him because, well, I am his mother and that is what we do.

Do you ever stop to think about that is how God is with us? He sticks with us through the rough times (even when we think or feel that He has deserted us) because that is what He does, and He is oh so proud when everything turns out for our good. God is a god of love and joy. I believe that He is saddened when we have to go through our not so pleasant experiences because He only wants the best for us. Think about that this evening and I hope and pray that it speaks to someone out there reading my words.

I started this post thinking that it would go in one direction, but, it went on a direction of it's own. Thank you for taking time to read.

As always,
- the busy bee

Talking to yourself is perfectly normal!

How many of you talk to yourself? It is safe to admit, no one will judge you. I will be the first to proudly stand up and say that I talk to myself on a regular basis. Why? Well, because it is perfectly normal to express one's inner dialog. Of course, it is not socially acceptable to do this one hundred percent of the time. It wouldn't be "nice" to see someone that you may not like and say aloud, "Geez, there is that jerk, _________. I really can't stand him/her!" So, there is a "fine line" that must be walked in expressing your inner feelings.

Years ago, a Russian psychologist studied the importance of children talking to themselves. He discovered that children often talk to themselves when making a decision or when trying to remember something important. It really makes sense. If I try to remember something important, I need to say it aloud to fully commit the tidbit to memory. As a teacher, I notice that many of my students walk around repeating specific instructions that I have given. They also "talk out" problems or feelings that they are experiencing. Some of these "conversations" are absolutely hilarious but, then again, I am sure that my "conversations" are funny to the person listening.

So, despite the t-shirt shown above, talking to yourself does NOT mean that you are crazy.

- the busy bee

My new furry daughter!

Hello,

Here is my new, furry daughter. Her name is Sable and she is the sweetest thing. It's been a while since I have been around a dog this gentle and loving. All she wants to do is to be around her people. David adores her and he even gave his new sister one of his teddy bears so she wouldn't be lonely while we were at school. Now she carries it around like it's her puppy and she sleeps with it at night. I told my husband that it was just like having a little girl that has to carry her baby doll around. What a blessing she has been to our little family. Thank you, Sonia, for loving Sable and allowing her to live with us.

- the busy bee

Looking out my back door...

Hello,

This is a picture of the view from our backyard. We were heading out of the boathouse for an afternoon of exploring and family fun. It was such a lovely day. David, Robby, and I saw some beautiful landscape and we found an abandoned boat in the mangroves. We assume that it was washed back there during one of our famous hurricane seasons here in central Florida. That area seemed to be a catch all for all kinds of "treasure". My mind conjured up all sorts of interesting stories and possible movie plots. I guess we watch too much "Criminal Minds" in our house. hahaha

I just wanted to share our lovely view. It is truly beautiful.

- the busy bee

New Book

Hi ya'll!

I am reading a new book. Well, it is not new. It is newly unpacked. :-) The title is "Checklist for Life: 40 Days of Timeless Wisdom & Foolproof Strategies for Making the Most of Life's Challenges & Opportunities"

Long title, I know. I am a big fan of check lists so, this should be right up my alley. "To Do" lists are an essential part of my life. Even if there isn't one written down on an actual piece of paper, there is a "To Do" list in my head. Honestly, I have no idea what life would be like without one. It has been a habit of mine ever since elementary school. Seriously. Elementary School. So far, I can see a little bit of that in my son. He enjoys making lists too.

My husband says that I can not always count my productivity by the things that I mark off of the "list". However, I feel accomplished when the things are completed. Robby has said that I need to feel accomplished when I make others around me feel good about themselves or show God's love to my friends or family. Again, one of the many benefits of being married to a shrink!

So, that is something else that I am working on for 2010. Learning that it is ok to feel a sense of accomplishment even when I can not see the results is going to be tough, but I think that with a little encouragement and help, it can be done. Breaking old habits and changing old ways of thinking is hard. What about some of my readers out there? Do you feel better about yourself when you can see your accomplishments or when you can feel them intrinsically? I look forward to hearing from you and also keeping everyone up to date on my progress in this area of my life.

- the busy bee

Why I would marry him all over again

Spirit FM 90.5 is having this contest that asks couples if they would marry their spouse all over again. The goal is to tell the radio personality why you would marry your spouse all over again and then the "dj" calls your spouse and lets you propose to them over the telephone. If he/she accepts, you are then placed in a drawing to win a wedding.

I would marry my husband all over again for many reasons. He is a very loving and gentle person with a heart of pure gold. He loves me for exactly who I am. He is a wonderful father to our son and I could not ask for a better best friend. No one has ever loved me the way that Robby does. No one has had the ability to set my soul aflame the way that he has. I am thankful to God for him. We accept one another, faults and all, and even find them endearing. Communication is probably the strongest asset of our relationship. We talk about any and everything.

Robby is the man that I dream of growing old with. My goal is to be the best wife possible for Robby with God's help and guidance. I believe that marriage is a beautiful partnership between two people. It is never a fifty fifty thing. Sometimes it is eighty/twenty, ninety/ten, and so on. The most important thing is to be sensitive enough to your spouse's needs to pick up the slack when they need you to do so. It is not easy, but it is worth it.

If anyone asks me if I would marry Robby all over again, the answer would be one thousand times "yes".

- the busy bee

Does Slash have a long lost sister?

Hey there!

This is right after blow drying. It is about eighty percent dry and as it dries on it's own, it gets tighter and tighter. For some reason, the highlights show up better with the curls. Go figure! Yesterday morning, David said to me, "Mommy, you don't have to brush your hair. Just put barettes in it!" The mind of a six year old boy is amazing! My husband is singing "Welcome to the Jungle" right now. He is so funny. The mind of a thirty-two year old man is amazing. There is never a dull moment in our house. That is a good thing! I am happy about that. Imagine how dull life would be without a little excitement!

You're in the jungle, baby!
- the busy bee

Broken CHI leads to freedom...

The other evening, my CHI gave out. It was a Christmas gift from 2004 so it served it's purpose. I loved that thing. I have not worn my hair curly for years because of the CHI. Let's just say God has a great sense of humor. One of my goals for 2010 was to be more comfortable in my own skin.

So, I am going to be straight up honest with everyone (no pun intended). I am a hairy brunette. Yep, there it is. From the age of ten I have shaved my legs and when I was seventeen I started shaving my arms so they would not be hairy. I recently stopped the arm shaving and they are back to their natural state. Childhood was not very kind to me due to being picked on, howled at, barked at, and ridiculed for my looks. I wore glasses, had unruly hair, and did not really fit in with the other kids. So, contacts and a CHI were magical for me. A year or so ago, my husband bought me these super cute retro glasses that I wear more than my contacts. That was step number one. When my CHI gave out, I had no alternative but to wear my hair curly. As it turns out, I am getting compliments on it! I was so uncomfortable with my natural hair but actually it is the real me and in order to reach my goal for 2010, I have to get comfortable with everything about myself. That was step number two.

God is so good. He knows exactly what we can and cannot handle and He always works things out for our good when we trust Him. The thing is, as frail humans, we do not always trust in God. I know I struggle with it on a daily basis. It is not easy to rest in the arms of a loving and trustworthy Savior. I write this as much for myself as for others. Even though it may seem scary, and even though you or I may think that we know what is best, we need to place our lives in the hands of our creator. Think it over, give it a try, you just may like it.

Just a little insight into my life,
- the busy bee

New house, new set-up

Whew! It has been a very busy, hectic, and productive week. We are in our new place. It is really nice. When all of the windows are opened, we can smell the salty air. It feels like a vacation house. Our first meal here was homemade spaghetti, salad, and garlic bread. Tonight I am roasting a chicken.

David loves his new room. He has plenty of space to play and also has a "hiding" place for his desk in one of his closets. We still have to unpack all of his books...the teacher in me comes out and David has plenty of books. -sigh-

Our master suite looks out at the water. Three of the four walls are windows. It is beautiful. My only complaint, if I even have one, is that there is only one wall on which to hang decorations. When it rains, it sounds so nice. I like to watch it come in off of the bay. We even heard from a neighbor that manatees come in the canal and even dolphins sometimes. How awesome would that be to see those animals in our own back yard?!

I'll write more soon.

-the busy bee

Vietnamese eyebrow torture

A few years ago, my mother convinced me to try getting my eyebrows waxed. I used to shave them. It was easy enough, just turn the razor sideways and remove the excess and unwanted hair. The only issue was getting them perfectly even and keeping up with the stubble. Well, like I said, my mother convinced me to give wax a try one day while we were at the nail shop. I was terrified! I hate pain. She told me that if I could have a baby and get pierced I could surely survive getting my eyebrows done. Hahahahaha!

I asked the lady to wax my eyebrows. She was from Vietnam and very sweet and gentle with my nails so I figured it couldn't be all that bad. Again, hahahahaha. I was led back to the chair and told to lay back and relax. I laid back, closed my eyes, and prayed for mercy. The warm wax felt soothing and we chatted about nothing in particular. A soft, dry cloth was laid over the warm wax and smoothed down by deft fingers. Then, in one instant, r-i-p! Off came the cloth and I almost came out of the chair with it. I squealed. She laughed. My mother laughed. Well, I had to finish what was started so on it went. A total of five applications of wax and five squeals from me. I thought it was over. I thought wrong! Next came the tweezing of the small hairs that were not caught in the wax. The few, the proud, the stragglers. That hurt worse than the waxing. After the tweezing, the nice lady soothed my raw skin with some (what I assume) baby oil.

My eyebrows looked amazing! I was pleased with the results but not pleased with the process. Whoever said "beauty must suffer" had it right! After I paid the woman, I told her that she could have gotten any information that she wanted out of me with that Vietnamese torture. She laughed and asked me if I would explain to her what I meant. I told her that she just performed Vietnamese eyebrow torture on me and that she could get national secrets from her clients if she would only ask the right questions while they were "relaxed" in her chair. I was assured that the more I had the waxing done, the easier it would become and it would not hurt as bad.

It was true. If it is kept up, waxing is not too bad. Yes, I still refer to it as Vietnamese eyebrow torture because it certainly does not feel good or soothing. I tell my husband, "Time to go for my torture session" when I notice those pesky hairs growing back into place. -sigh- He just looks at me and smiles knowingly. I am just happy I do not have a mustache. :-)

Your friendly torture survivor,
- the busy bee

The more I see, the less I know.

Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, "To make a friend, you have to be a friend." One of my favorite parts of teaching is just listening to the everyday conversations of my students. I have learned a lot from them. There is, however, one thing that the children say that I do not allow. It is, "You're not my friend anymore!" Those words are said out of frustration and even anger. Usually this happens when one of them does not get their way in a game, or one has something that the other wants. I am sure that at some point in our own childhoods, we either said these words to someone else or they were said to us. It does not elicit good feelings, does it?

Emerson had a point though. In order to make a friend, you have to actually be a friend to someone. See the good in them for who they are. Do not try to change them yourself. If there is a fault in your friend (and surely there is because they are human) accept it as a quirk. After all, don't you have quirks? I have plenty of them and am thankful for those who call me friend. So, as adults, please do not tell someone that they are "not your friend anymore" by withholding acceptance and friendship.

Just a thought,
- the busy bee

My mama said to not lose you, cause the best luck I ever had was you!

Well, this afternoon I moved more things into the new house. It is looking breathtaking! I can't wait to take some pictures and share with friends. The view is gorgeous from the master suite. The electricity gets turned on tomorrow as well, so, we can move well into the night. How exciting! I will keep everyone posted.

-the very busy bee

My new kitchen

Good evening! As some of you know, I collect Coca-Cola memorabilia. My kitchen is decorated with retro Coca-Cola items. In my new kitchen, there are endless possibilities for my collection. The cabinets are white, original (antique), have crown moulding, and are shabby chic. Absolutely the perfect accent to the Coca-Cola red that I love so much! This particular room will probably be my favorite space of the new place. How exciting it is to start over from scratch and turn a plain and empty canvas into a living, breathing work of art.

- the busy bee

Monday, Monday, so good to me.....

Monday. Not very eventful. School was school, my son received a discipline card for not following directions, and it is still cold here in sunny Florida. I have discovered the joy of wearing scarves. Yep, scarves in Florida.

Nothing very exciting is happening and there is no earth shattering or ground breaking news. Life is pretty normal and peaceful right now. It is really nice. It will be somewhat of a challenge to come up with witty observations during this time of tranquility. I am totally up for that challenge though! BRING IT ON (insert Rocky theme song)!

Oh! I have been working on my parenting curriculum and added another two pages today. Today's topic was "Life Skills". The gist of today's portion was a list of life skills that both parents and children need to get along well in life. My next task is to add to this by explaining exactly how to live out these skill sets. If anyone is interested in reading my work, email me and let me know. I welcome any and all comments.

-the busy bee

My men

This is a recent picture of my husband and son. We were goofing around, which is what we do best, and I got this shot of them. I love my men! Our life is full of adventure and there is never a dull moment with these two around. They "feed" off of each other and keep me on my toes, that is for sure. What would I do without them in my world?

God has truly blessed me with a wonderful husband and son. They make me smile each and every day even when I do not feel like smiling. A simple touch from my husband's gentle hand and my soul ignites. An, "I love you, Mommy." from my son and my heart melts.

Life is good even when we may not feel that it is. Look around yourself and take in all that you are blessed with. Isn't it amazing?

<3,
the busy bee